Five out of Six Are in Favor of Russian Roulette; Now Online

“The chance of dying is one in six. The job of killing off the losers is still outsourced to the Russian mob, but we’re working on an automated solution,” says Ivan Fyodorovich Karamazov.

Traditional Russian roulette is played with a single round in a revolver. The player spins the cylinder, places the muzzle against his or hers head and pulls the trigger.

The survival rate depends on the rules:

If the cylinder is allowed to complete to full stop, gravity gives the player a big advantage, as the bullet will usually end up near the bottom.

Preevyet, Cheeky Coder!

Gravity is not an issue in the online version. Trust me on this.

Customers play the game on their own computers, so there’s no guns involved. They can choose between Blackjack, Five-card draw, Five-card stud or Texas hold ‘em. The rules are different, but the end game is similar: Win or die! Or lose and die!

This is a hard game to automate, but we are almost there. The killings are still executed the old and manual way – by long-range shootings or Death cap mushrooms – but we’re working on a fully computerized version.

To kill through the wires of the Internet won’t be easy, but we will crack that code, too. We have started by collecting some health information through the user agreement. The answer to do you use an electronic pacemaker? might be proven useful at some point.

We just need a good domain name before we can open up the shop. Both russianroulette.com and russian-roulette.com are sadly taken.

Viper will eat viper, and it would serve them both right!

With best wishes,

Ivan Fyodorovich Karamazov