“I Am Ivan Fyodorovich and I Hacked Google!”

“It was very easy, and I didn’t do it to get that Swedish girl her boys back in the sack,” says Ivan Fyodorovich Karamazov.

Yesterday Lisa from Sweden told the tearful story about how she recovered her lost password thanks to a hacker site. She can now resume contact with her boyfriends.

Ivan says he is the guy behind the hack that supposedly revealed five million GMail passwords. I have no way of knowing if this is the truth – he may be just some Russian glory hunter.

He sent me this letter via the Tor network:

Preevyet, Cheeky Coder!

I am Ivan, Ivan Fyodorovich Karamazov of the Karamazov family from Staraya Russa. I am from Russia and I am a hacker. A very good hacker, the very best computer hacker in Novgorod Oblast! Believe this.

In Staraya Russa everyone is saying “Oh, Vanechka is so good with computers, he fix anything!”

People say hackers are bad people, but this is not true. I always liked side-paths, little dark back-alleys behind the main road – there one finds adventures and surprises, and precious metal in the dirt. This is not bad. This is good.

And Google is a market capitalist giant, steeling from them can only serve as proof of my honesty. As my good father always said:

“If he’s honest, he’ll steal; if he’s human, he’ll murder; if he’s faithful, he’ll deceive.”

The world needs hackers to soften the misery. I tell my brother this: “It’s not God that I don’t accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return him the ticket.”

So we in Mother Russia will keep on hacking. Believe this.